I am sure there are a lot of people in the world like me who enjoy a good conversation every now and then, but sometimes what is needed is a good listening ear. I think talking is important, but just talking for the sake of talking can sometimes become annoying to most people if what is being said amounts to a lot of rambling on and on about nothing.
The Importance of Active Listening
Talking for the sake of talking may be okay for some people, but what most people want is a listening ear.
People want to feel they are being heard. In today’s society, there are times when it feels like everyone is talking and no one is listening to anything said.
The older I get, the more I understand how important it is to be a good listener more than a good talker.
If you want to enhance your life and your relationships, boost your listening skills. With these five effective active listening steps, in ten minutes or less, you’ll transform. Not only will you create a safe place for shared ideas, but in turn, you will aid in your personal development.
1. Stop Talking
The first thing you must learn to do is to stop talking and let someone else have the floor.
If you are always doing the talking, more than likely, you aren’t listening to anything that is being said.
The listener has no opportunity to share their ideas because they are too busy trying to synthesize through the mound of information that is being shared by you.
Therefore, if you ever want to become a better listener, you must close your mouth and open your ears so you can hear what someone else has to say.
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2. Clear Your Mind
One of the hardest things to do is to clear your mind enough so you can understand what is being spoken by another person.
Most of us have so many thoughts running through our heads that we would say while it is on our mind. It takes an extra effort to relax and clear our minds enough to properly give ear to what someone else has to say.
A good listener is one who takes time to understand what another person is saying and not just being quiet long enough to formulate how you want to respond to what Is being said.
When you are thinking of your response before you have all the information, you aren’t really listening, but you are waiting for another opportunity to talk.
It doesn’t take long to learn how to clear your mind, but you just have to practice looking directly at the speaker and focusing on the words they are saying during the conversation so they know you are paying attention.
3. Open Your Ears
Opening your ears means tuning in to the conversation.
It is a conscious effort to make sure you are hearing not only the words but the inflections in the voice of the speaker that will also relay meaning and context to the conversation.
When you are actively listening, you can answer questions quickly and accurately. Meaning you are actively paying attention and not allowing your thoughts to wander as you wait to interject your thoughts and ideas.
4. Don’t Interrupt
Becoming a better listener requires that you learn how to hold your thoughts and ideas until the speaker has completed what they want to say.
Most of us have a habit of interrupting a person in mid-sentence because we think what we have to say is so important. Have you ever chimed in with a comment only to find that what you interjected wasn’t even on the correct topic?
Generally, this happens because we have failed to get a good understanding before we are ready to add more input.
It’s not that what you have to say is not important, but the other person probably feels that what they have to say is just as important. Allow them to finish their thoughts because your comment may be fully addressed if you take the time to listen.
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5. Repeat What You Have Heard
One of the best ways to ensure that you follow and understand a conversation is to repeat the things you thought you heard during the exchange.
Additionally, you can ask clarifying questions that indicate you are paying attention, but not trying to distract.
Once the speaker has completed what they wanted to say, it is always good to let them know what you heard. If you heard them correctly, then it is easier to formulate a response because you are both talking on the same topic.
If you did not hear something correctly, then it is easier for them to reiterate what they said and clarify any points you may have misunderstood.
Everybody feels good when they have had the opportunity to say their piece and know they have communicated the things they wanted to say. At the end of the process, everybody comes away feeling respected and valued.
